Legend has it there are monsters who come from far and wide to worship and frolic in the mud which comes from the bowels of the sea.
This mud is enriched with great skin-saving minerals and anti-oxidants that promise to cure all manner of skin ailments. Curiously however, this is not what the monsters come for.
It is the deep greeny-brown pigmentation of the mud that draws them. This is because monsters’ skin colour fades over time - especially if they live in cold places like London.
Here we see an aberration of monsters covering themselves with mud.
This strapping monster is showing off his newly greened ‘third armpit’ – a feature not uncommon to the alpha males in the pack.
A mirror is used to ensure that no part of the body is uncovered.
For religious reasons, a female monster must also cover her hair in mud. This is mainly for married woman so that no other male will find her attractive.
The great tragedy however, is that these monsters cannot return to their homelands covered in mud. They face terrible discrimination if they do - not to mention the liquid bans they will encounter at the airport. So they take photos instead as proof that they are indeed monsters. 
After they’ve danced and worshiped the mud, they must wash the mud off in a hot sulphur shower.
Here you can see a poor female monster crying in despair as the mud washes away revealing the pallor of her skin. 
