Atlanta: Detainment Story

On route to New York, we had to make a short stopover in Atlanta. If you have never been there, dont go rushing out to buy a ticket, we can paint you a picture. Think Ricky Lake. Now pretend all of Atlanta is one big Ricky Lake show where obese contestants all wear velvet tracksuits. You get the idea.
So we are in the airport going through security with our forms. Shaquinita (not her real name but it could have been) asks Jeremy to please sign his landing form. The conversation goes as follows:
Jez: "Sure, can I please borrow a pen"
Shaquinita: "I'm sorry sir, we do not lend out pens."
Jez: "You're joking right?"
A stand off ensues.
Shaquinita: "You will need to go and find a pen sir"
Another stand off ensues.
Meanwhile, TZ has a pen but is fascinated to see how this plays out so does not hand over her pen. Jez goes to ask someone else in security if they have a pen. He is told once again that they do not lend out pens.
On returning to Shaquinita, TZ finally hands over her own pen. We sign the forms and hand them over.
To make matters worse Jez no longer feels like volunteering information. So when asked where we were staying he says "with a friend." And who might this friend be? "Josh" And where did you meet? "Abroad."
After stamping our forms. She places our passports in a red folder. Then calls a security officer, in code, to escort us to the Department of Homeland Security office.
We cannot believe how this has turned out! Inside Homeland Security a woman is being reprimanded and told she has no right enter the US of A ma'am. We sit like naughty children waiting to be called to the principal's office. After half an hour, someone calls us up, peaks inside the red folder and tells us we are free to go.
You can add drama queen to the velvet clad obese Ricky Lake contestants that are the population of Atlanta!